self construction

I know two people.
Let us call them Macaroni and Zucchini.

Macaroni lives by his three main constructs of "Hard Work," "Doggone Politicians!," and "Financial Success." Zucchini's three main constructs are "Flow," "Paradox," and "Eternal Springtime." One can see why Macaroni and Zucchini could have a difficult time communicating. Fortunately, Macaroni understands "Paradox" and Zucchini comprehends "Hard Work."

How does this happen? How do people get so far apart in their construction of the world?

We invent ourselves through successive approximation.

In early childhood we help shape our character by accepting a set of terms (constructs) by which we construct ourselves. We select from the menu offered by stories, songs, televised images, and the examples of those around us.

As teens, we often shed these constructs (or at least attempt to) in favor of a new set and thus a new identity. Now we define ourselves in those terms, terms which often exasperate our previous co-constructionists whom we now regard as knowing nothing.

Unless we concretize our constructs by staring into the eyes of our very own narcissistic Medusa, we will shed that identity also.

The healthy person will make this ongoing process conscious, gradually developing a set of core constructs aligned with the rhythms of the universe itself.